The Spotlight Ahead

Ball of Nerves

2011-05-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Jeremy and I head to Dallas, Texas for X Factor Auditions and I am a ball of nerves! We are both very excited and have great peace about it. Yesterday however, I sat down to read over all the rules, info and such and my stomach has been in knots since.When I checked my facebook this morning encouragement was there:

"God would not have planted those dreams in your heart if He had not already given you the talent, the creativity and the determination to see them come to pass." Joel Osteen. (Thanks Sherry and Robin).

Many of you have made yourself available to help us in so many ways and we could never say thank you enough. Others have asked how you can help.

We need prayer. Specifically for favor.

God has planted seeds and gifts inside Jeremy and I bigger than ourselves. I know this, I believe it. With more people supporting us now than ever, I am overwhelmed with love and joy. Favor with man is all that is left at play.

Join us as we claim it as ours this week! I know this is just another leg in our journey forward to his purpose for our lives. So here we go! Nerves and all.

Head to Jeremy's music fan page on facebook where we will keep you updated on auditions while we are there!
https://www.facebook.com/jeremymccallmusic

Keys

2011-04-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

One of the workshops we attended during Nashville Connection was with vocal coach Dave Brooks from Dave Brooks Artist Development. Jeremy scored a free evaluation while we were there and in the short 10min we had with him all I can say is AMAZING! I have had many vocal lessons and training over the years but I loved his technique. He's an in your face, tell it straight kinda guy who challenged everyone right where they were in their vocal ability. This moment is categorized in my jealous emotion. Would have love to have him evaluate me.
He praised Jeremy and built him up like you wouldn't believe. Now whether is was honest or he's just a great salesmen I'm not sure. But we left planning to work extra hard to see to it that Jeremy got at least 1 lesson.
Instead Jeremy won 5! 5 free lessons with Dave and I have to admit I will be hiding behind the computer screen for each lesson as we skype him into our living room.

Last night I had a dream featuring Mr. Dave Brooks himself. When I woke up all I could remember was that we were in a bar, much like Smileys Downtown Greenville, and He and my father-in-law were asking me theory questions. When I couldn't answer them Dave's response to me was, "I thought you knew music?" "But I haven't played for years!" I replied. "I have just leaned on my ear and less on my knowledge." Dave them locked eyes with me and using hand gestures that included a lot of pointing back and forth between the sheet music and me said "If you can't play, you're out of the game before you ever get started. Nashville doesn't have room for just singers anymore you need to dig back in and stand out."

Now, is that something Dave would say? Who knows. Is it a true statement? I don't think there is a rhyme or reason, other than God, that someone makes it in the music industry. So what does this mean for me? My interpretation is that it is time for me to brush up, suck up and play the piano again.

I think it's something I have needed to do for a while. It's hard as a vocalist, especially leading a team of musicians, to gain respect when you can't talk their language. I battle with this every Tuesday and Sunday. I love what I do and I know that I am called to do it. Granted leading a worship team and leading a band are two totally different things, all musicians speak the same language when it comes to the theory and charts of a song. How can I rise to new levels without the knowledge to keep me there? I can't.

So I am breaking out my theory book buried in the bottom of my piano bench, cleaning the dust off the keys, pulling up some tutorials on YouTube and picking up where I left off. My mom will be thrilled! She always said I had a gift. I have too many songs in me that need to come out and God has given me the talent and understanding to do it.

Thanks for the kick in the butt Dave. lol
Brad, continue to challenge me. You have and always do.

The Open Door

2011-04-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago our lives changed dramatically. Well our lives not so much but the direction for our lives. My husband came in second place in the Nashville Connection Heroes Salute Competition. Are we heading to Nashville with a record deal in hand? No, but the journey has begun.

It's in us. It always has been. I believe God placed it there. The desire to do BIG things.

A week before the competition I asked my husband, "Jeremy, are you happy with where you are?" He seemed restless. I could feel it. I had felt it for weeks. My husband is great at what he does and I believe that one day he will settle into a church and follow in his daddy's foot steps but I could feel his uneasiness to settle in that just yet. So I did what great wives do and challenged my husband on his dreams.
I gave him 3 weeks to make a decision and proceeded to tell him I would follow him and never look back once he decided in his heart of hearts which path to take. Does it require sacrifice on my part, of course, it always will, but I know that God will honor me in the end for supporting the head of our home in fulfill his God given dream.

One week later we were signed up for Nashville Connection and heading to the Workshop event here in Greenville.We didn't make the finals for the competition on Thursday. Honestly I can't say with the songs we sent in that we should have. God had bigger plans. We got registered early enough to participate in a LIVE wild card performance on Wednesday night.
That night I watched a man already beaten and one who had given up on the talent so many saw and see in him, step onto a stage and blow the entire room away. He did what he was created to do and won! My husband kicked butt. I didn't do so bad myself.
He went on to compete the next day and beat out 32 other finalist coming in 2nd place! And yet he had favor and was treated as if first was written beside his name. We made God connections that week and God did something I could never do; He show my Husband that He still had plenty for him to do and plenty of time to do it.

I think Jeremy had given up. Filled his mind with excuses: I'm to old. I have a family and can't give what I need to make it into the music business. I missed my time. It's a season for new dreams. But I have learned through this experience that with talent, prayer, favor and people that believe in you, God will make a way when there seems to be no way. He can open doors that no man can shut. When he plants a desire and dream in you, He will see it completed. And He has done that for my family.

Jeremy's voice has been heard.
And a dream has been reignited in my husband. A journey for us has begun.

Where it leads I don't know. Maybe no where or maybe he is picked up and carried into this new world (music industry is it's own world) on Eagles wings. Hey, why not, God is that big!

So over the next weeks, months, however long it may be, I will write. I'll talk about the balance between reality and dreams. I'll open my book and share with you our journey to the spotlight. How it's done with family and roots. How we stay grounded in our faith and supported by our church. How we hold on to the promises of the word and give thanks and praise only to God. How easy it has been and hard it will be. I don't know if the CMA spotlight will be reached. I'm scared but so excited. Nervous and a little uneasy. Overwhelmed and a little jealous. But thankful to see my husband walking in God's plan and resting in the peace that God's got this. "Jesus, keep us humble."

Check out our handle bar Wildcard performances:
Jeremy McCall- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF0zjhn9sJE
Lauren McCall- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r79rot4ml9A

Thanks you: Sherry and Earl, Joan and all at the Nashville Connection, our parents, our babies and everyone who pushes us to be better than we are everyday. To those that pray for us, don't stop!

Earthquakes and Volcanoes and End Times...Oh My!

2010-04-28T08:58:00.001-07:00

Each week I get email blogs from Dare2Share. I though this one would be good to pass along. Enjoy!

Earthquakes and Volcanoes and End Times...Oh My!

Tell me that you're not just a tiny bit concerned with the string of recent natural disasters that keep popping up on Earth's surface like pimples on a choc-o-holic?

To refresh your memory, we've had multiple monster earthquakes in Haiti, China, Chile, and other places, volcanoes spewing ash across the European sky, even sinkholes that are swallowing cars!

I wish I wouldn't have watched the 2012 movie, because now every time Mother Earth reshuffles the deck in real life, I get big screen Blu-ray flashbacks of L.A. folding up and collapsing like a cheap taco.

So what does it all mean? Well that, of course, depends on your perspective. From one standpoint, you could argue that natural disasters have been happening all over the world since the beginning of time - therefore we all should stop freaking out and chill out about end of days stuff.

On the other hand, as Christians we believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and since every single prophecy in Scripture has been fulfilled to the letter except the "game over" ones that point to the future, I think there is valid cause for concern if there is a connection.

Is there a connection? I'll lay out the evidence, then you can decide for yourself:

Later as he was sitting on Mount Olives, his disciples approached and asked him, "Tell us, when are these things going to happen? What will be the sign of your coming, that the time's up?"

Jesus said, "Watch out for doomsday deceivers. Many leaders are going to show up with forged identities, claiming, 'I am Christ, the Messiah.' They will deceive a lot of people. When reports come in of wars and rumored wars, keep your head and don't panic. This is routine history; this is no sign of the end. Nation will fight nation and ruler fight ruler, over and over. Famines and earthquakes will occur in various places. This is nothing compared to what is coming (Matthew 24:3-8).

And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don't panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won't follow immediately. Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in many parts of the world, as well as famines. But this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come (Mark 13:7-8).

When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away." Then he said to them: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven (Luke 21:9-11).

In my opinion, the level and frequency of natural disasters this past year sounds a lot like what Jesus is telling us in these passages. Couple that with scientific speculation about erratic plate tectonics, and we got ourselves a whole mess-o things to keep us up at night.

But remember that the point of these passages is not TO get our blood pressure up...quite the opposite actually. In the midst of Jesus' words on wars and natural disasters, don't miss His counsel:

don't panic

keep your head and don't panic

do not be frightened

The word for 'frightened' here is not the idea of being scared, rather it is a picture of deep terror and crying aloud out of panic. Sort of an "AAAAAAAAAGH!!! HEEEEEELP ME!!!"

Not only are we not to panic, but we also need to be ready for when the big stuff really does start to go down. Friends...being ready is not obsessing about what might or might not happen. Being ready is-

-making sure you are right with God by trusting in Jesus Christ alone for salvation

-living each day in the light of Jesus' promised return, which means loving God and people with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength

-passing along the Bible's warnings about the last days and sharing the message of the gospel as the only true "end times survival strategy" and living His Cause-THE Cause-of making disciples who make disciples.

I don't know about you, but just keeping myself busy with those three things leaves zero time to hide my head under the covers and hope that happy days will come back to stay.

Or in the words of my friend Greg Stier...reach out, don't freak out!

Thank you Lord Jesus, because if it really is the end of the world as we know it, I really do feel fine!

Lovesick: Love Story

2010-02-20T14:58:00.000-08:00

This week I am going to jump right in.

Have you ever gotten all ready and hyped up about a party only to get there, look around the room and realize everybody there is the same sex as you? It’s kind of a let down.

There is something in each of us that likes hanging out with the opposite sex. If you throw attraction in the mix, it gets even more exciting. In fact I would dare say that there is nothing more exhilarating than meeting someone you are attracted to and getting to know all about them. With all that said it’s easy to see why there is some type of love story in every movie.

For guys and girls, the love story may be the same, but the movie is pretty different. Guys generally want the love story to be a part of the action and adventure. Girls want the love story to be the whole story. Romantic comedies are designed with one gender in mind! Although everyone agrees that falling in love is exciting, all you have to do is watch a movie trailer—with its target audience in mind—to understand that guys and girls are wired differently.

And I’m not talking about boys playing with trucks and girls playing with dolls. I liked to climb trees and go snowboarding growing up and still do. I’m talking about those little personality differences.

In high school there was this guy, we’ll call him John. He was out on the basketball court playing a game. Not really showing off or anything. He went up for a lay-up. Got fouled from behind and came crash landing down on this metal thing sticking out of the ground. He gashed his leg wide open. He got rushed to the ER, got some huge stitches and still has the scar today.

Now I dare say most of you guys are like wow, awesome and would have probably done what the rest of the ball players did and high fived him. Us girls on the other hand, probably were a little groused out and with sad expressions said things like “Awe.” And “Bless his heart. You poor thing.” This just proves we’re different! God created us as guys and girls to act differently. We’re not supposed to act alike!

Because we are so opposite, we bring different desires, needs and expectations to relationships. This is how things get messy. Whatever the status of a relationship, the truth is, expecting guys and girls to understand each other’s needs is like expecting dogs and cats to act the same.

Let’s look at the process of falling for someone. If you develop an interest in someone, you start thinking about them, and you don’t know why, but you can’t shake your “feelings.” Before you know it, they are on your mind all of the time! They smile, and you think, “Wow, she likes me” or he says “Hello,” and you think he’s totally into you. You analyze how that person is acting. You ask your friends. You become a detective trying to read their emotions and actions, looking for some type of evidence that maybe that person might like you. Sounds a little psycho, but we all do it!

Now put the shoe on the other foot. As hard as it is for some of you to believe, there is—or one day will be—a person who is wrapped up in attraction towards you. At some point, someone will over analyze you. As weird as it sounds, someone is—or will be—emotionally vulnerable towards you. It’s kind of like holding a key to someone’s heart.

This puts you in a position of great power! You have the ability to do great good or great harm when it comes to interacting with this person. It’s a huge responsibility! Some of you may be thinking, “I don’t want that kind of responsibility. I just won’t date!” That’s probably a great idea for most of you. But even if you don’t date and you don’t get wrapped up in romantic relationships, you still possess great power to do good or harm.

Here’s how. You most likely interact with members of the opposite-sex every day. And news flash—they still care about what you think. You still have the power to hurt them. For all of these reasons, the responsibility for how you act and what you say is on your shoulders.

Let’s look at Philippians 2:3
What Paul is saying here when he says “do nothing” is that there is no action or activity that should involve you being selfish.

Let’s break it down and get real. If you’re dating or “hanging out” with someone and you have no problem moving the relationship at a fast pace physically, chances are that you have a selfish frame of mind. Essentially, here’s what you’re saying, “I care a lot less about you than I do about me!”
Now you’re saying, “But Lauren, It takes two” or “They started it.” You’ve probably taken advantage of their emotional vulnerability towards you. And as far as I know, taking advantage of someone’s emotional vulnerability falls under the category of selfishness.

I know guys who are masters of looking for weak and vulnerable females. They always seem to date or hang out with younger girls who don’t have a lot of self-esteem. Whether or not they’re aware of it, they take advantage of these girls’ hearts and their need for someone to love them. Some of them will even use their relationship with God or the good things they do at church as tools of manipulation to get the kind of attention they are looking for, but regardless of whether their motives are good or not, these guys haven’t been careful with girls’ hearts—girls who are wired to be emotional and relational.

There are girls who are just as good at manipulation and at using guys to get what they want. Maybe they just want attention, social status or a particular reputation. But they are willing to act a certain way and say things they don’t mean because they are looking at the relationship only from a selfish perspective.

Look at verse 5, “Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interest of others” (Philippians 2:5). The only way to quit constantly thinking about yourself and what you want is to start thinking about other people and what they need.
In the case of dating relationships, what they need is for someone not to take advantage of them. What they need is for someone to care about them and respect them physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Think of it as a story. Each of us is writing our own biography. If you have been dating someone this whole year you will forever be a section in a chapter of their life titled “My Freshman Year.” You may or may not be a part of that person’s life 20 years from now but you will always be a part of their history. So I want you to ask yourself these questions:

“What am I writing in his or her story?”
“How is my relationship with them going to be described ten years from now?
Healthy?
Dishonest?
Encouraging?
Manipulative?

How will my relationship with this person affect how he or she thinks about Jesus?”
Will they think that all Christians are hypocrites?
Will this person think that when it comes to dating, Christians act like everyone else?
Or will he or she think that while things may have not worked out, there was a level of respect and honor there that was different than other relationships?

In a relationship it is your job to guard the other person’s heart, which goes against what our culture teaches. We live in a world that tells you to look out for yourself. But that’s not what Jesus asks us to do. He wants use to love and respect and guard the hearts of the opposite sex.

How do you do that? 2 BIG examples:

Guys: When you say I love you to a girl for the most part you don’t know what you mean. You just know that she likes to hear it. This takes her emotions on a roller coaster ride and she starts thinking about what to name your babies. That’s wrong! You guys are in high school. You should want her to experience all that life has to offer; all the other baskets, before she start settling herself down.

Girls: Do you even understand that what you wear, say, and how you flirt can wrongly be interpreted by the guys you are throwing yourself at. You’re causing them to experience feelings that should be kept for their wives.

If your only filter in a relationship is what’s acceptable to you, you’re selfishly looking to your own interests. Here are two things we must do:

1) Be careful of mixed signals.
The way we talk, the way we behave, and the way we interact with the opposite sex carries a lot of weight. We need to be constantly evaluating our action through the filter of selflessness to make sure the signals we are sending are appropriate.

How many times girls, have we had best guy friends that we would never think of dating but come to find out later that they thought we were heading for a relationship. We were sending wrong signals.

2) Don’t underestimate the importance of respect.
As much as you think you care about someone, let me ask you a question: Are you proud of the way you talk to, treat and act physically towards him or her? Late at night, when you’re by yourself, do you feel guilty for things you’ve done? More importantly, does your treatment of that person reflect your concern to lead that person closer to Christ?

I have no doubt that all of us think respect is important. Have a conversation with people who have been disrespected, and you’ll see how important it is. It hurts even. One way you can attempt to reverse the effects of disrespect is by apologizing to people you may have sent mixed signals to or hurt. Show people that you care about them enough to humble yourself and ask for their forgiveness.

Ask most adults about their dating relationships and somewhere along the way will be a story of a relationship that, if given the chance, he or she would have handled a lot differently. They are a part of someone’s story, someone’s history that brought pain, frustration, even regret. And the reality is that you may already have relationships you wish you had handled differently.

So moving forward, how can you honor God and the boundaries He has set, not only with how you treat someone physically, but by how you treat him or her emotionally? Start caring about someone other than yourself. When we really start caring about other people we will begin to respect them automatically. Make it a goal or a mission to become a person who treats all people with respect, not just members of the opposite sex.

Lovesick: Where are your eggs?

2010-02-16T20:07:00.000-08:00

In this series we’ve been talking about dating.

Last week we found out about Samson and his obsession with women and how that obsession led him down a very destructive path.

Then I asked you to examine yourself.
What was it you talked about, prayed about the most?
Was it dating, being with someone?
And then I asked you to spend some time with God this past week and get yourself in check.

We talked about how dating was NOT a bad thing.
In fact God created us with a desire for the opposite sex and to have relationships. So this week I want to start by asking you what you think are some of the reasons we date?

Let’s take the next couple of minutes and explore some of the most common reasons.

We date to be around attractive people.

No body wants to turn and look at someone and jump at the sight of their face. And I know that you girls you’re not going to date or marry someone that you can’t stand to look at.

Another reason we date is because it gives us someone to hang out with.

Once we have the title boyfriend or girlfriend we don’t have to worry about who we are taking to the school dance or going to the football game with. All of the sudden we have something to do every Friday night. Spend time with the one we are “attracted” to.

We date because we like physical contact.

There are a ton of cheesy songs out there about holding hands and making out and sex. And we are always asking “Have you kissed her yet?” or “Is he a good kisser?” Some of you like physical contact more than others and some of you like it too much.
We were created that way. Guys are wired to be physical creatures and girls are wired to snuggle.

We date because we like drama.

“Lauren, seriously, I DON’T like Drama!”
Really?
Then why are shows like The Hills, Survivor, The Real World, The Bachelor, High School Stories, Keeping up With the Kardashians, The Gauntlet and many more so popular?
Because we feed off the drama!

There are so many reason that we date and those are just to name a few. But with reasons like those why wouldn’t we want to date. You get to spend time with someone who is attractive, likes to hold hands and cuddle, hang out and add excitement to your life.

Have you ever heard the phrase don’t put all your eggs in one basket?

I want us to look at a couple of the baskets in your life. They are, for most of you, the top 5:

God, Family, Friends, Activities (like American idol try outs, basketball, playing in the band, video games) and then Dating.

For some of us the dating basket gets the most attention.

Why, for some, does dating trump the family basket?
Well, we don’t always feel like hanging out with our families. Some of you love hanging out with them. I have a blast spending time with my family, but I’ve never taken my mom cosmic bowling on a Friday night or made stupid YouTube videos with my dad. Well I have, but most of you probably don’t.

Why does dating trump our friend basket?
It’s simple—our friends aren’t nearly as attractive as the people we want to date! As much as I love my friends, hanging out with them doesn’t make my heart skip a beat.

What about the God basket?
For many students, the reason God takes a backseat to dating is because He doesn’t offer enough drama and excitement.

Now, I disagree. I believe there’s a ton of excitement and adventure in a relationship with God and in the Bible. The more we learn and discover and push in and try the things that God has to offer the more alive they become. That’s my bunny trail for this message.

Okay the activities basket?
As passionate as some of you are about your hobbies and interests, it probably doesn’t give you the kind of physical contact you really want. You don’t snuggle your guitar or go to the dance with your collection of stamp books.

So it’s easy to see what makes dating so wonderful. And what happens to most of us is we end up with all our eggs in that (dating) basket. Even if you aren’t dating, if you spend a ton of time dreaming, thinking about and hoping to find the “right person,” then all your eggs are in the dating basket.

If we put all our eggs in one basket then if that relationship falls a part or you break up, our lives are shattered just like eggs hitting the floor when that basket gets turned upside down. We are left with no friends, no one to hang out with, no hobbies, no dreams, nothing is left!

In the bible there is a guy named Paul and he spends a lot of time writing to different churches. Most of the time he is encouraging them and patting them on the back saying “good job” But this one church, the Corinthian church, is some what of a ‘bad egg’. lol

They have a hard time with balance. Look at what Paul says to them in 1 Corinthians 6:12

Paul is basically saying, I have a lot of choices, but not all of them are good choices. And some of the choices we make can end up having control over you.

Dating is a good thing, but don’t allow it to master you, to own you, to be the only thing in your life.

Proverbs 25:16 says “If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit.”

The caution of this verse is not to stay away from good things—it is to stay away from too much of a good thing! When one basket is full, and the others are empty the balance is out of whack. This isn’t a good thing even in marriage. Take my life for example:

I want Jeremy to have friends. He goes on a boy’s only fishing weekend every year. He goes to lunch with some of his guy friends. And every other Tuesday night I go to coffee with some of my girlfriends. We both understand that we need friends apart from each other.

We go to church together. And there are times when we read the Bible and pray together. But we also understand that each of us has a responsibility to cultivate our own, personal relationship with God.

We watch movies and football together. We love hanging out! But Jeremy doesn’t scrapbook with me. We don’t have to share all the same activities. Even in marriage it is not healthy to lose your balance.

Have you ever seen someone who works out too much and gets too big? It’s kind of grouse. It just doesn’t look right. That’s what it’s like when you devote your whole life to a middle or high school dating relationship. Emotional speaking you become a lopsided teenager!

I’m not saying don’t date. Dating can be a good thing as long as we aren’t putting all our eggs in one basket. Find someone, a parent, friend, your small group leader and ask them to hold you accountable. “Hey can you make sure I don’t put too much of this person in my life”. If your not dating ask them “Is there anything that you see I have too much of in my life? Is there anything that controls me?”

None of your baskets should hold all the eggs. Not even your God basket! God talks over and over again about balance in the bible because He wants you to be a healthy well rounded individual. You are important to Him!

So where are you? Are you lovesick? Constantly praying and asking God to help you be in love, stay in love? Where is the balance in your life? Where are your eggs?

Lovesick: Obsessed

2010-02-05T06:11:00.000-08:00

I have “always” wanted to be in Love! I don’t really know why. I grew up in a very loving home with both my parents. But there was always something about having a boyfriend that really appealed to me. I remember most of my boyfriends and I think I’m okay to talk about a few of them because J and I both dated A LOT!

I was in 4th and 5th grade. His name was Jason. We were together for 2 years and he was my best friend’s brother. Oh yeah! I went on my first ‘real’ date with him. His parents picked me up and dropped us off at the movie theatre. I don’t remember what we saw, but I do remember we didn’t hold hands or anything in the theatre. He won me a duck with a little pink and green cap on its head out of one of those claw machines and bought me a drink and popcorn to share. Then my parents picked us up after the movie.

That was your cue to saw “Aw sweet!”

Then in 6th grade I dated Josh and he started my short person streak! He was shorter than me, had a rat tail and was so cool! He was everybody’s friend. I still think I have some love notes and a necklace he gave me in the attic.

There was Shane in 8th grade and then my most serious relationship before college… David. He kind of looked like Jeremy. Tall, big guy, way older than me, black hair and he followed the car to the state line when I left for college!

Then there were the bad eggs of course. The ones my parents could see, but I couldn’t. I thought they were each “the one”, but we won’t go there. At that age I thought being in love would make me someone else, something more than I was. And my heart was broken on a regular basis because of my need to be in love.

How many of you would agree that relationships are complicated! They are confusing, a lot of hype and sometimes painful! God created us to desire relationships. He formed us to feel attraction towards the opposite sex; boys liking girls and girls liking boys. What ends up happening and happening fast, is girls get frustrated with boys, boys can’t understand girls and we get anxious, self-conscious and nervous and these situations lead us to heartbreak. But having a relationship is not the problem in fact they have the potential to be very rewarding. The problem is that our culture had taken two basic inventions of God and twisted them beyond measure:

Human relationship and opposite-sex.

You’ve got girls asking each other “Did you find somebody yet?” Meaning, “You’re not single, are you?” Teenagers are viewed as “weird” if they’ve gone too long without a boyfriend or girlfriend. People check out your relationship status on Facebook or MySpace. Families secretly feel sorry for relatives who are single past age 25. It seems everyone has bought into the idea that our worth is directly tied to our relational status. It is just normal to think that way. If you take all that and mix it with our God-given desire for relationship and the attraction He gives us to the opposite sex, you get a bunch of lovesick people.

Whenever I wasn’t in a relationship my self esteem would drop. I’d stay in doors like a hermit and even begin to get depressed. I felt like I HAD to have a boyfriend just to me myself! I found my identity in it. That desire drove everything I did. Balance went out the window. The truth is it’s great to want relationships and it’s great to be attracted to the opposite sex. It’s even okay to wish you were dating. This is both normal and healthy. It becomes dangerous, however, when we have a heart that is so controlled by these longings, that we lose perspective on everything else in our lives because of our lovesick desires.

It’s dangerous when who we are becomes so wrapped up in our relational status that we lose sight of our God-given identity as an individual.

I want us to look at what the bible has to say about this. We are going to talk about a man named Samson. In the Old Testament, if you go way back before there was ever a king; there was a period of time that was called the judges. It was called this because the Israelites (Gods chosen people) were living in little groups, or clans and they had leaders, called judges, who helped keep everything running smoothly. During this time the Israelites really wanted a king like all the other nations, but God kept telling them it wasn’t a good idea, not yet anyways so they did what he said and kept living with the judges. One of the judges that God appointed was Samson.

Take a moment and read Judges 13: 2-5. It’s the birth story of this guy Samson.

Now the Israelites had been under Philistine rule for 40 years and this baby was basically going to “save them” The verses said Samson was to be a Nazirite. What is that you might ask? A Nazirite was a person that was set part from others to God and had to abide by some pretty specific rules in order to be used mightily by God. Not like today when anybody can be used by God.

There is a list of those rules in Numbers Chapter 6 but I’ll give u a few:
-You had to never have wine, grape juice, eat grapes or raisins or anything that comes from the grapevine including seeds or skins.
-He could never cut or shave his hair.
-He can not go near a dead body even family because it would make him unclean in fact if a person were to drop dead in his presence their was an entire ceremony he had to go through to make himself clean before the Lord again.

Back in Judges it says Samson was born, he grew and the Lord blessed him. But as he grew older he revealed one of his greatest weaknesses-women!

He’s a Womanizer Baby!!

Now his parents obviously weren’t too thrilled about that. And I know some of you can relate.

Look at Judges 14:1-2

Basically Samson’s parents were saying, “Look, we think girls are great. You probably should get married someday. But that girl? Really, son?” You see, they didn’t question the value of relationships. They never told Samson to, “Stay away from girls’ altogether.” They simply challenged his selection process—why was he interested in a girl from the Israelites greatest enemy? But in verse 3 Samson responded with some attitude, “You’re not going to stop me! I’m lovesick over this girl!”

It turns out mom and dad knew best because Samson’s wife ends up selling him out to some of her people during their wedding feast, and the marriage goes downhill quickly. That didn’t take long. So Samson is single again. He could have turned back to God and lived out his calling to rescue the Israelites from the Philistines, like God had called him to do. But Samson has a problem—he just can’t stay away from the ladies, and not just any ladies, but women who were not right for him, that were keeping him from what God had in store for him. His obsession with the wrong kind of woman was so strong, so powerful that he was willing to lose a part of who he was in order to have a relationship.

Now, after a near fatal run-in while visiting a Philistine prostitute, Samson becomes lovesick over girl number three—another Philistine. This ones name was Delilah. (Judges16:4-5). See the Philistines knew that Samson was the guy who was going to save the Israelites out from under them, so they wanted to stop him, but he was just too strong. So they used Delilah.

So after they’ve been seeing each other awhile she starts asking, more like begging him,“Honey, what makes you so strong? I mean look at your amazing muscles and how big and handsome you are, how do you do it?” She keeps after him over and over. 3 times Samson tells her lies or stories and leads her on these bunny trails about where he gets his strength, but then in verse 15 and 16 look what happens. Delilah says, “Sugar pie, how can you say you love me when you won’t even confide in me and tell me all your secrets? You keep making a fool out of me. Please tell me the secret of your strength. It will make us closer!” Don’t act like you’ve never heard anything like this before!

Well Samson gives in and tells her his strength is in his hair and the fact that he won’t cut it because of his vow to be a Nazirite. Now, why didn’t he just run from that nagging woman? Why but up with all that whining? He was obsessed! One of the problems with being obsessed is it blurs your judgment and leads you to do things you wouldn’t normally do, because in a way, you aren’t acting like yourself. You have lost a part of yourself in your obsession with this relationship.

So, Delilah betrays Samson, cuts his hair when he is sleeping and the Philistines capture him, bounding him between two pillars and he dies trying to be the man God calls him to be. I believe sitting there between those two pillars he starts to think of all he could have done, or been if he would have just invested the time into God that he did into seeking after those relationships. It angers him and moves him to break free, pulling the pillars down, causing the temple to break and killing him and thousands of other philistines. Samson took normal desires –relationship and the opposite sex- and twisted them until they eventually and literally took his life. He lost sight of who God created Him to be!

You’ve probably seen this up close in the life of someone you know. You used to be friends with someone, you hung out and had fun—until that person started dating him or started dating her. All of the sudden your friend is missing in action and it almost feels like you don’t even know who he or she is anymore. You can see someone you once knew start to change in front of your face.

You don’t have to be in a relationship to become lovesick or lose sight of who you are. Some of you are lovesick because you’re alone. You’ve allowed yourself to become so consumed with finding the right person to date that you can’t just enjoy life without that person in mind. You can’t go someplace without scoping the scene to find potential boyfriends or girlfriends. You may have stayed home instead of hanging out with friends because you needed to do a little Facebook stalking—you’re lovesick. Your identity is all about who you may or may not be in a relationship with sooner or later. You feel like you are less than who you think you should be because you don’t have someone.

Others of you, it’s not about obsessing over one person or over the idea of a relationship, maybe you’re lovesickness comes from being a serial dater. The last time you were solo was like in third grade. You just always have to be in a relationship. That was me. Every time one relationship ends it’s a matter of weeks, if not days, before you’ve found your next soul mate. You really aren’t sure what you would do with yourself if you weren’t dating—you may not even know who you are without a boyfriend or girlfriend.

It’s not that relationships are wrong. It’s not that dating is wrong. You can have healthy relationships with the opposite sex. But when all you do is think about relationships, read about them, watch them on TV or in the movies, and talk about them, then you’ve crossed the line into obsession.

This series is about dating, but it’s also about you. For some of you, you need to do a little check-up on your status—Are you lovesick? Are you consumed with relationships at the expense of who you are as an individual? What I want you to do is close your eyes, maybe even bow your head. Whatever you need to do to get alone and get really honest with yourself. Ask yourself some hard questions.

What do you think about and pray about the most?
What do you constantly talk about?
If it’s sex, dating and the opposite sex, you are heading down a risky road.

For some of you, you need to put yourself in check.
Have you really bought into the lie that you have to have somebody to be happy?
Do you really think that having a boyfriend or girlfriend would satisfy your loneliness?

For some of you, you’re way past being able to see it in your own life—you need someone else to help you see it. That’s what small groups are for. It’s what your small group leader is for. Friends have a natural way of recognize lovesickness. It’s just because it’s much easier to see from the outside. So be brave enough to ask your friends or your leaders,
“Am I too into this relationship?
Do I talk about dating way too much?”

God created relationships for us. He is passionate about us engaging in them. But obsessing over relationships, however, is not healthy. In a culture that pushes dating everywhere we turn, don’t get so caught up in it all, that you lose sight of who you are and who God made you to be.

My Son, My continuous Miracle Baby.

2009-06-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

I will never again look at my son the same way. From the get-go the devil has tried his best to take him out. Trace is Called for big things, I am sure of it. Now, more then ever, I know that God is at work and has His hand on my babies life.

On Wednesday, June 3rd around 5:20pm my 16month year old, healthy baby boy had a febrile seizure.

Here is my story:

Tuesday night Trace wasn't sleeping so well. Jeremy had a business trip in Atlanta, GA and last minute I decided to take the kids and head down with him. We stayed at my Grandmothers and had a very eventful 3 days. I figured he was missing his crib and starting his last round of teething. I added water to what was left of the Tylenol, shook it up and gave it to him along with a little rub of Hurricane. The next morning he was grumpy and not himself, "Normal for teeth," I though to myself, " no biggie. I'll pick up some Tylenol on the way home." I loaded up, said goodbye and headed to the hotel to pick up Jeremy.

When we arrived at the hotel we headed to lunch. Trace was not feeling so well and was getting warm and a little sleepy. I tried giving him an apple to chew on but his lack of interest in food only caused him to throw it up. We boxed up lunch and headed to the room where Trace settled down for a 2 hour nap. He woke up himself ready to play. The three of us headed to the pool; Riley had been waiting ever so patiently!

We all got in and floated a while. Trace, who would have normal been a blast, just sat in his float, arms crossed and head back as if to say, "Mom, I have no energy for this." I headed to a lounge chair, baby on my stomach and once again Trace headed off to sleep.

Daddy, who was suppose to be off at 3 and joining us, came down to let us know that there was now a project to finish and we would be lucky to leave before 7. He held Trace, now burning with fever and miserable, before returning to the conference room. Our conversation sounded somewhat like this:

Jeremy- He's in bad shape!
Me-I know, we have to get him some medicine on the way out. I should have stopped by target on the way here.His teeth hurt dad. All he has done all day is drink cold water and sleep. Poor Riley, I haven't even really got to play with her.

Around 5pm Jeremy called to say he was done and heading down with pizza in hand.
I had already gotten' Riley out of the pool and changed as well as myself. We were sitting with our feet in the pool when Trace, who was bundled up in the stroller, woke up from his third nap of the day. I pulled him from the stroller and laid him on the lounge chair and started to change him. First, I took off his swim suit and then his swimmer diaper and then he jumped, as if a chill came over his little naked body. I called his name, with a, "was that cold sweet boy?" kinda of tone in my voice and smile on my face.What happens next has changed my life forever.

I watched his eyes disappear into the back of his head and his little body stiffen and yet start flapping all over at the same time. I yelled at him, twice. My words were" Trace? Trace! Stop it, stop it!" I knew something was wrong immediately.I through the towel over him, scooped him up and yelled at my 4 year old daughter to not move! With all that happened I remember that so vividly; yelling at Riley to stay there. I remember thinking to myself if I tell her to come on and follow me she could jump up to fast, slip and fall into the pool. Then what would I do? "Stay there!" I said sternly and yet so calmly.

Next, I went running, with baby in hand. I think "Help!" rolled off my lips, but I can't be sure. "Help, my baby, my baby!" I ran inside to the ball room connected to the pool area. I knew there were people setting up in there. I had joked with them only minutes earlier about coming to the party if I could "get rid of theses babies". How I wish those words never had left my tongue. As soon as I swung the door open a tall, skinny black man in an Orange shirt met me there and told me to lay him onto the floor on his side.

I'm not sure the order of the next events or really what was even said. I know that there as a bartender on his cell phone talking to 911. I can hear him say "Please hurry it's just a baby". He was standing to my back left. A tall women in a black suit over my shoulder but far from me was saying she was an epileptic and that I needed to keep anything away from his mouth. A rather heft white man in a blue shirt with tiny glasses in front of me, met me on the floor and told me to uncover my child. Jeremy's screaming voice running up from behind me "What happened, whats going on...oh my God!" Riley in the corner with panic on her face. I reassured her of how brave she was and that I would get her some food soon. All I really 'remember' is that Trace wouldn't look at me. After a minute of seizing his eyes glassed over and stared through me at the wall. I begged him to look at mama. I sang You are my Sunshine and Jesus loves me at random times hoping that in what seemed like an hour the EMS would arrive.

I strangely held it together (as much as I could). I comforted my daughter, calmed my husband, gave information to strangers and willed my son to snap out of it all at the same time and deep down I know I was trusting in God.

Jeremy yelled his name and after 2 minutes of what seemed like a lifeless baby in my arms Trace looked at his daddy and began to whimper. As I look back he seemed so small. His stomach seemed to disappear and I could count each of his little ribs. He gasped for air and his eyes fluttered. His body shook with force and I cried and told him I was there and that that alone would make it okay.

Another image that I will forever see when I close my eyes is the fireman that lifted my baby into his arms and cried as he did his job. An old man, your grandfather, with a heart of gold. He looked into my eyes and said "Lauren, it's gonna be okay." He calmed me in away that made me believe he was Jesus there with me. As we entered the ambulance he handed my child to me. Trace was shaking now only because he was freezing from the water bottles and ice packs they had placed on his bare body. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep, but the bumpy ride wouldn't allow it. All I could think was it was my fault. If I had only done this, not done that, on and on I fought with myself. The man in the ambulance was the first person on my road away from guilt-ville to assure me this was not preventable and not my fault.

At the finest children's hospital around (Scottish Rite) we waited not for test or lab work or doctors but only for Trace's temperature to drop. This is what we learned:

A febrile seizure is caused by a high fever. But not by the high temp itself, but by it raising or dropping to fast. The fever itself is caused by a virus and could not have been prevented. What vi ruse? We don't know because there are no other symptoms other than the fever. This type of seizure can't be stopped or treated. The meds they would use to treat it would do more harm that the seizure itself. The scariest thing about these seizures is that in so many cases it causes the caregiver to have a heart attack because they think the child is dying. I did. He now has a 50% chance of having another one during the course of this current virus and from now on with a viral fever. It is genetic meaning that his kids can have them and yet he didn't get them from us. They are common. If he has another one, we let him have it. That's it. We turn him on his side, clear his mouth and wait it out. Wow, I'm not sure how I could do that.

I won't because we have claimed healing!

That very night we were released from the hospital. We went back to the hotel where I proceeded to find every one I could that had helped. I found them and thanked them. I found all but the man in orange. I believe he was my angel. The hardest part now is getting the image of my youngest son out of my head!

God was there in so many ways. In the people and their wisdom. In the location (the children's hospital was across the street from the hotel where it happened). In the intercessory prayer my mother did for him just days before. In the peace that I felt when we were all together in our living room tonight as a family.

I try not to cry as much now. Almost 3 days have past. But today when I was told my daughter asked if Trace was going to Heaven, I couldn't help but cry tears of joy and celebration as I thought to myself, No devil, not yet! Trace is fine. Today he has went right back to his silly, rambunctious self, full of life and spreading smiles around. But I will forever be changed. I can stand with a whole new group of people and say I've been there, I know how you feel. I can stand and once again say My God is greater!

Thank you for your prayers and your heart for my family. Now more than ever they have meant so much.

Peace

2009-05-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

The funniest thing has happened to me over the last month or so. I have found that my life is truly at peace, which is really hilarious considering I know that I am on the verge of change. When will that change come, I don't know. All I do know is that I am happy where I am while getting to where I'm going. I'm not in a hurry to get there. I use to be. I use to look for what was next always wondering when I was going to fulfill my purpose. But today, while I was at the gym just enjoying the time to myself, I realized in that moment I was doing what I was "really" created to do...just be.

God created me to enjoy what He created for me

(go ahead and read that through one more time...).

And whether it is at the park with my kids or taking a stroll to the mailbox as the heat of the day disappears; when I take a breath and just enjoy were I am, I am fulfilling Gods plan and purpose for my life.

I always knew it, but only wish I had really grasped it before now.