Lovesick: Where are your eggs?

In this series we’ve been talking about dating.

Last week we found out about Samson and his obsession with women and how that obsession led him down a very destructive path.

Then I asked you to examine yourself.
What was it you talked about, prayed about the most?
Was it dating, being with someone?
And then I asked you to spend some time with God this past week and get yourself in check.

We talked about how dating was NOT a bad thing.
In fact God created us with a desire for the opposite sex and to have relationships. So this week I want to start by asking you what you think are some of the reasons we date?

Let’s take the next couple of minutes and explore some of the most common reasons.

We date to be around attractive people.

No body wants to turn and look at someone and jump at the sight of their face. And I know that you girls you’re not going to date or marry someone that you can’t stand to look at.

Another reason we date is because it gives us someone to hang out with.

Once we have the title boyfriend or girlfriend we don’t have to worry about who we are taking to the school dance or going to the football game with. All of the sudden we have something to do every Friday night. Spend time with the one we are “attracted” to.

We date because we like physical contact.

There are a ton of cheesy songs out there about holding hands and making out and sex. And we are always asking “Have you kissed her yet?” or “Is he a good kisser?” Some of you like physical contact more than others and some of you like it too much.
We were created that way. Guys are wired to be physical creatures and girls are wired to snuggle.

We date because we like drama.

“Lauren, seriously, I DON’T like Drama!”
Really?
Then why are shows like The Hills, Survivor, The Real World, The Bachelor, High School Stories, Keeping up With the Kardashians, The Gauntlet and many more so popular?
Because we feed off the drama!

There are so many reason that we date and those are just to name a few. But with reasons like those why wouldn’t we want to date. You get to spend time with someone who is attractive, likes to hold hands and cuddle, hang out and add excitement to your life.

Have you ever heard the phrase don’t put all your eggs in one basket?

I want us to look at a couple of the baskets in your life. They are, for most of you, the top 5:

God, Family, Friends, Activities (like American idol try outs, basketball, playing in the band, video games) and then Dating.

For some of us the dating basket gets the most attention.

Why, for some, does dating trump the family basket?
Well, we don’t always feel like hanging out with our families. Some of you love hanging out with them. I have a blast spending time with my family, but I’ve never taken my mom cosmic bowling on a Friday night or made stupid YouTube videos with my dad. Well I have, but most of you probably don’t.

Why does dating trump our friend basket?
It’s simple—our friends aren’t nearly as attractive as the people we want to date! As much as I love my friends, hanging out with them doesn’t make my heart skip a beat.

What about the God basket?
For many students, the reason God takes a backseat to dating is because He doesn’t offer enough drama and excitement.

Now, I disagree. I believe there’s a ton of excitement and adventure in a relationship with God and in the Bible. The more we learn and discover and push in and try the things that God has to offer the more alive they become. That’s my bunny trail for this message.

Okay the activities basket?
As passionate as some of you are about your hobbies and interests, it probably doesn’t give you the kind of physical contact you really want. You don’t snuggle your guitar or go to the dance with your collection of stamp books.

So it’s easy to see what makes dating so wonderful. And what happens to most of us is we end up with all our eggs in that (dating) basket. Even if you aren’t dating, if you spend a ton of time dreaming, thinking about and hoping to find the “right person,” then all your eggs are in the dating basket.

If we put all our eggs in one basket then if that relationship falls a part or you break up, our lives are shattered just like eggs hitting the floor when that basket gets turned upside down. We are left with no friends, no one to hang out with, no hobbies, no dreams, nothing is left!

In the bible there is a guy named Paul and he spends a lot of time writing to different churches. Most of the time he is encouraging them and patting them on the back saying “good job” But this one church, the Corinthian church, is some what of a ‘bad egg’. lol

They have a hard time with balance. Look at what Paul says to them in 1 Corinthians 6:12

Paul is basically saying, I have a lot of choices, but not all of them are good choices. And some of the choices we make can end up having control over you.

Dating is a good thing, but don’t allow it to master you, to own you, to be the only thing in your life.

Proverbs 25:16 says “If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit.”

The caution of this verse is not to stay away from good things—it is to stay away from too much of a good thing! When one basket is full, and the others are empty the balance is out of whack. This isn’t a good thing even in marriage. Take my life for example:

I want Jeremy to have friends. He goes on a boy’s only fishing weekend every year. He goes to lunch with some of his guy friends. And every other Tuesday night I go to coffee with some of my girlfriends. We both understand that we need friends apart from each other.

We go to church together. And there are times when we read the Bible and pray together. But we also understand that each of us has a responsibility to cultivate our own, personal relationship with God.

We watch movies and football together. We love hanging out! But Jeremy doesn’t scrapbook with me. We don’t have to share all the same activities. Even in marriage it is not healthy to lose your balance.

Have you ever seen someone who works out too much and gets too big? It’s kind of grouse. It just doesn’t look right. That’s what it’s like when you devote your whole life to a middle or high school dating relationship. Emotional speaking you become a lopsided teenager!

I’m not saying don’t date. Dating can be a good thing as long as we aren’t putting all our eggs in one basket. Find someone, a parent, friend, your small group leader and ask them to hold you accountable. “Hey can you make sure I don’t put too much of this person in my life”. If your not dating ask them “Is there anything that you see I have too much of in my life? Is there anything that controls me?”

None of your baskets should hold all the eggs. Not even your God basket! God talks over and over again about balance in the bible because He wants you to be a healthy well rounded individual. You are important to Him!

So where are you? Are you lovesick? Constantly praying and asking God to help you be in love, stay in love? Where is the balance in your life? Where are your eggs?